Schofield’s South African Adventure (ITV, 8pm) Woohoo, your chance to see This Morning host Phil on a free holiday with his wife Stephanie. Another pointless celebrity travelogue but nice work if you can get it.

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Piers Morgan’s Life Stories (ITV, 9pm) The great man grills UKIP sensation Nigel Farage about his life, his loves, his numerous brushes with death and his passionate campaign to get Britain out of Europe. And if you’ve ever wondered who Nige fancies… it’s Carol Vorderman!

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Gogglebox (Channel 4, 9pm) Start of a new series as the allegedly hilarious armchair critics share their opinions on the nation’s favourite TV shows. We’ve seen it all before so is this declining programme past its sell-by date?

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Stan Lee’s Lucky Man (Sky1, 9pm) Jimmy Nesbitt returns as detective Harry Clayton, the man who can’t lose a bet. Sounds like gamblers’ heaven. But guaranteed luck isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

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