The Jump… semi-final injury round-up. Joe Swash retired hurt with a broken shoulder. Sarah “Hard-core” Harding took a tumble during training and was forced to quit. And a one-legged woman who used to be Paul McCartney’s wife pulled out after crashing into a fence and damaging her thumb and knee.

Sporting 20 stitches in his swollen face and missing two teeth, battered and bruised Ben Cohen growled: “It’s been a sh*t week.” Especially for the handful of remaining viewers.

Appalled by the foul-mouthed former rugby star turning the airwaves blue before the 9pm family watershed, foghorn-voiced host Davina McCall yelled: “I apologise profusely about that.”  Ben: “Yes, sorry about that. But I mean it.”

Throughout a sickening series that sadistically revelled in the accidents, deafening Davina’s other important role was to talk down the ludicrously dangerous nature of Channel 4’s ongoing celebrity bloodbath.

When badly wounded Olympic gymnast Beth Tweddle underwent a complicated operation to take bone from her hip and fuse it into two neck vertebrae, Davina described it as “routine back surgery”. Yeah right. That’s like saying “routine heart transplant”.

Amid five weeks of Alpine carnage, the sliding C-listers just kept on falling. Lest we forget… Rebecca Adlington dislocated her shoulder. Tina Hobley fractured her arm in two places. Mark Francis busted his ankle. And Linford Christie wrecked his hamstring.

The survivors who reached the final were pretty much the last five standing. Tom Parker, Dean Cain, Sid Owen, Tamara Beckwith and plucky Ben Cohen.

Sadly, resident expert Graham Bell didn’t get the memo about playing down the carnage. “This is a snow-packed demolition derby!” he boomed. “No one gets out unscathed.” Yes, I think we worked that out.

Ironically, despite the on-piste emergencies, The Jump remained relentlessly repetitive and terribly tedious to watch. Hence the risible ratings.

Ever the optimist, Davina looked forward to returning to Austria next year. But what with the plummeting viewing figures and the rapidly rising insurance bill, I’m guessing this was Ms McCall’s last free winter holiday.