By Andy Simon @AndySimon55

I'm pretty much reasonably certain, most of us love our homes.

That little piece of England you can call your own. After all, it is a nice feeling to be king or queen of your castle, to be the custodian, guardian and ruler of that little empire you have spent years working hard and paying for.

And for those who are indeed fortunate to own their homes, it's a nice feeling,especially, when you have paid the mortgage off. So for the most part, you are content to live where you do, with all its local amenities, easy routes to work, local shops, boozer etc

But for me, for 45 minutes on a weekday afternoon, all that contentment fades away when I watch Escape To The Country, when it aires on BBC1 at 3pm.

This show is so depressingly enjoyable!

For a start, Escape To The Country literally means just that, getting away from the hub-bub and noise of town or city life and retreating to the peace and quiet of the open spaces typically, somewhere like Devon, Cornwall, the Cotswolds or somewhere deep in the Welsh countryside.

Then (and for me, this is one of the really depressing bits) the people who take part in this 45 minute televisual tour of grade two listed country properties I couldn't afford in a million years are typically retired or about to retire couples who evidently have tons and tons of time on their hands, leisurely amble along viewing typically three properties accompanied by a smooth talking TV presenter acting like a chief salesperson and suave estate agent.

And their budget for this rural retreat is usually about 8 Squillion quid or more realistically; around £400,000 on average.

But it can be higher, up to £600,000 or more! And in keeping with the theme of the show, the higher the budget, the more depressingly enjoyable it gets.

Oh woe is me!

So the properties themselves (and there are loads to choose from) range from new builds to grade two listed manors, thatched chocolate box cottages, to barn conversions and on occasion, the odd bespoke dwelling that should by rights, have been on Kevin McCloud's Grand Designs.

What really gets me are the couples who appear on this show and who are usually (no offence intended) middle aged duffers or old crocks, who not having the appearance of being related to Superman or Superwoman, typically want huge rooms you could land a plane in, and enough land to rival Glastonbury.

All well and good if you can afford it, but what about all the time and labour involved in managing 2 to 5 acres of land?

There is after all only two of them!

The interiors of some of these properties are to die for.
They are simply magnificent.

The opulence, comfort and open plan splendour of some of those barn conversions is wonderful, to say nothing of the charming, cosy cottages that are tucked away in little hamlets and villages, no one on Earth has ever even heard of, let alone been to.

By the time you have got through an episode of this show, you are completely and utterly depressed. Trouble is; if you are a bit of a nosey parker like me, and love having a look at other people's houses, then this show is immensely enjoyable.

Yes; it's bitter-sweet or sweet 'n' sour telly.

So if you are not doing anything particularly important, or simply have an hour to kill, why not give Escape To The Country a go?

You may like me, end up thoroughly depressed after watching it, but there is a certain joy in having a sneak peek, at how others will live as they begin their retirement, or start a new venture.

Every cloud has a silver lining, after all, I suppose.

The BBC's mid-afternoon show, "Escape To The Country" is on weekdays at 3pm.

Thanks for reading.

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