The Nightly Show with Davina - a festering boil on ITV's bottom

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The Nightly Show with Davina - a festering boil on ITV's bottom

March 14, 2017 - 11:38
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Ear plugs ? Check
Vat of wine ? Check
Dignitas phone number ? Check

It could only be ... Davina's debut on The Nightly Show.

Boy George, Vicky McClure and Davina McCall

By The TV Grump @TheTVGrump

That's it, I think I'm prepared :

Ear plugs ? Check
Vat of wine ? Check
Dignitas phone number ? Check

It could only be ... Davina's debut on The Nightly Show.

We're entering the third week of ITV's hugely expensive (and risky) experiment to attract a younger demographic to the 10pm slot. Revamp after revamp of the News At Ten has only resulted in ITV haemorrhaging viewers to the other channels.

I'm probably one of the few that think moving the ITV news back to 10.30 was actually a good idea. BBC's 10 O'Clock News will always be the nation's choice for national news at that time, and it's fruitless for ITV to try and compete with the budget and resources of the Beeb, in a head to head battle.

I was also one of those that really wanted The Nightly Show to work. A 30 minute, light hearted comedy show rounding up the days news and events. Something that you could wind down to before bed. Perfect !

What have we actually ended up with ? A 30 minute mish mash of unfunny monologue jokes (mainly cribbed from Twitter), a barrel scraping lists of guests, and two of the most unsuitable hosts imaginable. All filmed in what appears to be someone's back bedroom.

I had high hopes for David Walliams. I liked the reboot of Blankety Blank at Christmas. I even liked Walliams & Friend (well, some of it). However, as the debut host here, he just seemed ill at ease from the start. We had the obligatory "I'm gay, don't you know" innuendoes. He dressed as a woman (obviously), but everything just seemed 'off'.

When it came to John Bishop, I admit, I only dipped in and out. I love a shouty scouser as much as the next person, but when you've got a guest of the caliber of Roger Daltrey, maybe you could avoid telling anecdotes about yourself. And what the HELL was that Russian standup comedy segment ?!?

So we come to week three, and Davina. Fresh from hosting Channel 4's The Jump. The only reality show when the real winners are those who suffer a life threatening injury, and return home early. She also graced us with her presence on Room 101 recently, screeching about how no one should ever order a starter, whilst seemingly forever flinging her leather catsuit covered legs in the air, Kenny Everett fashion.

As I sat down on Monday evening, just before 10, all of this did not bode well ...

Was it as bad as I'd imagined ? Pretty much. Credit where it's due, they are, at least, trying new things. The walk through the audience to start things off, the live DJ (*cough* Ellen *cough*). We even had some great guests - Boy George and Vicky McClure.

Sadly, it was all in vain. Davina just isn't suited to this sort of thing. The shouting, the gurning, and the apparent absence of anything actually happening behind the eyes. We had a hidden camera skit featuring members of the public, who looked suspiciously like they'd come direct from Casting 101. Instead of having a proper gossipy, entertaining chat with the guests, there was an horrendously ill judged 'rap contest' between Davina and Vicky. In short, it was dreadful.

The alleged climax of the show came when the winner of the audience competition for a holiday to Ibiza announced his aim on the trip was to "hopefully lose my virginity!".

Three weeks into this abomination, this festering boil on ITV's bottom, and plucky little Daniel summed it up beautifully. He wants his cherry popped, I want a nightly chat show that I can enjoy. Both things that are, sadly, unlikely to happen for a very long time.