Over in Kuhtai, 'Austriaaaa!" as Davina McCall kept calling it, another series of The Jump began. It's amazing that it got another series considering the long list of injuries last year.
By Caroline Dowse @toongirl83
Over in Kuhtai, 'Austriaaaa!" as Davina McCall kept calling it, another series of The Jump began. It's amazing that it got another series considering the long list of injuries last year, or that anyone would want to do it, but I guess it just goes to show that some celebs will do anything for airtime and the chance to show off their injuries in a double page spread in Hello.
There's quite a sporty feel to the line up this year, with the likes of Gareth Thomas, Jason Robinson, Jade Jones, Kadeena Cox, and Robbie Fowler competing. There are also the usual reality no-marks like Spencer Matthews, Josie Gibson and Amy Willerton (replacing an already injured Vogue Williams) and a wildcard choice in Emma Parker Bowles, a journalist and Camilla's niece. The biggest name though is Sir Bradley Wiggins. When asked by Shouty Davina why he was doing it, he replied: "Just to piss off the Daily Mail, really." And probably the money. I reckon that helps too.
This week's event was the parallel slalom, and considering most of the celebs had little to no skiing experience - with the exception of poshos Spencer and Emma - they all came through it relatively unscathed. Even Robbie Fowler, who looks like he's been on the Steve Bruce diet since he retired. With his stomach straining his lycra body suit, somehow he managed to beat Paralympian Kadeena Cox, to the surprise of her and most of the viewers. The only person to come a cropper during any of the races was Jason Robinson, who clipped a gate, lost a ski and ended up on his backside to the delight of his opponent Gareth Thomas.
And so we came to the jump itself. The losers faced a jump off to stay in the competition and all was going well until Josie Gibson's turn. Josie, who sounds like a female Ian Holloway, had been talking herself up in the VT before her race. "I'm gonna carve her up like a turkey," she claimed of her opponent, which didn't sound particularly menacing in her thick Bristolian accent. She lost and the colour drained from her face when she realised she was facing the jump. When it came down to it, she suffered an attack of nerves and couldn't jump, so she was eliminated. With no time to get her down to talk to Davina, poor old Josie was left at the top of the ski jump while the closing credits rolled, looking crestfallen while the other celebs celebrated surviving to next week.
As for who will win that ridiculous cow bell, nobody really cares. Most people only watch this show to see if the celebs hurt themselves. Although I am sneakily hoping that Robbie Fowler will win - just because it would piss off Sir Wiggo, really.