The Great British Bore (Bake) Off

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The Great British Bore (Bake) Off

August 23, 2016 - 20:40
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Average: 3.3 (3 votes)
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It's back again; and I simply cannot believe it!

The Great British Bake Off: Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry

By Andy Simon

It's back again; and I simply cannot believe it!

I would have thought that after the sixth series, the BBC ovens would have packed up by now. But no.

They're still going strong and so too is this immensely boring, tediously tiresome and grossly over baked cake making show.

Yes; The Great British Bake Off is back, for the 7th time.

I mean please; don't get me wrong. Baking, like anything else done in the kitchen is a real skill, and to those of you that have this "Baking Bug", I salute you . . . sort of.

Mary Berry; the real star of the show, who's teeth I notice are still pearly white, which is rather surprising considering her age and how many sugary baking delights she must have consumed during her lifetime.

Clearly, she has taken care of herself.Either that; or she has a good dentist.

Paul Hollywood, again; clearly a man who knows his way around a baking tray, and an oven, and yet one, who has yet, not done what I suspect some of us would dearly love him to do, like stick his head inside an oven, and keep it there?

The other presenters; Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc are for me at least, the only two reasons that make this show watchable.

So why DO I watch it?

Well; as any professional (of which I'm not) TV critic will probably tell you, in TV, you have to take as much notice of the "Bad," as well as the "Good".

And pretty much, what is perceived as good or bad TV depends on the viewer. And in the case of The Great British Bake Off, it's got to be for me at least, right up there, among the most boring.

I will however see the odd episode as this 7th series airs.

And in the process of yawning as I watch, my mouth may just open wide enough for Mary to shove a slice of her freshly baked cake into it. But even this high quality comestible delight, would not really greatly enhance my enjoyment of the show.

Because in spite of Perkins & Giedroyc,I probably won't enjoy it. Not really.

For me; the concept of trying to show someone what you can do with a baking tray and a bag of flour, is about as interesting & as exciting, as me attempting to show Henrietta Knight what she can do with the contents of Kevin O'Sullivan's laundry bin, and a washing machine.

Yes; I do admit, The Great British "Bore" Off, (I mean Bake Off) is not my favourite televisual feast. But for those who really want to know what it is like to have a bun in your oven . . .

Then this show; is right up your alley. I think.

The new series of The Great British Bake Off fires up it's ovens once again on BBC1, Wednesday's at 8pm.

If you're completely barking about baking, this show is for you.

All I can say is, "Roll on Masterchef."

Thanks for reading.
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SCARFMAN_'s picture

Last year I self diagnosed myself with a mild to moderate case of BOBOS(BORED OF BAKE OFF SYNDROME). Towards the end of series six of 'The Great British Bake Off' I had grown really tired of this very formulaic show. In fact I had become that bored of it that I think I only watched half of the final. Series seven started last Wednesday night on BBC1 and I was not sure how I felt about it's return before it aired. I had to watch it though didn't I, namely because it felt like everybody else who lived in the United Kingdom would be too.

As the ending credits rolled I am pleased to announce that I am now FREE of BOBOS. Yes, as expected it was all very samey again but I had enjoyed watching it. I do not think it is the greatest TV show that has ever been made, however I do love the quintessentially British nature of it. For example, I love the leafy green Welford Park setting. I love all the Union Jack bunting that is proudly on display in the marquee where the bakers bake. I love the lack of vulgarity amidst the odd amusing innuendo or two. Only in Britain could we have invented a show where people CRY at baking a cake for crying out loud but I also love this aspect about it.

This first episode started off well due to some of the contestants in the intro saying amusing things such as, "I have shouted at pie" and "the last time I was this nervous I was about to give birth". There was definitely an aura of 'the spectacle' about the show.

We were told that there would be twelve contestants on the show this year. The judges as always were Paul Hollywood(now aka Mr Dunker) and the people's cake Queen Ms Mary Berry. Comediennes and double act Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc were the presenters once again. This comic duo are as central to the success of this show as Paul and Mary are in my opinion. The humour that they provide is an essential aspect of the show. Mel(who is the funnier of the two for me) reminds me at times of the late, great Victoria Wood. I guess I can pay her no greater compliment than this.

They started off the series doing 'Cake Week' and their first signature bake was to make a drizzle cake(Paul's favourite apparently). It was in this first segment that we got introduced to all of the new contestants. First up was Val, who is a retired head mistress from Somerset. I absolutely adored her with all her amusing eccentricities. Already I think we have seen my favourite bit of series seven when Val stated,

"and I listen to my cakes and they're not ready.....they sing and they say, not ready, not ready".

Got to be honest and admit that PE teacher Candice got right on my wick throughout this first episode. I think it was a combination of her being very over-the-top, appearing to like the sound of her own voice a bit too much and crying at the end because she thought she might be going home due to making a right pigs ear of her genoise, i.e she made a rubbery sponge.

For their technical challenge the contestants were asked to bake twelve Jaffa cakes. The highlight of this section was when a somewhat affronted Mary looked on in horror as Paul Hollywood DUNKED one of these cakes in a cup of tea. Almost with a straight face Mary said to Paul, "we don't do that in the South you know".

As usual with the technical, the efforts of the bakers were judged blind and ranked from worst to best. Ghanaian born and that chilled he could have charmed the pants off a rolling pin and a Jaffa cake....AT THE SAME TIME, Selasi came first. Again we had the tension building orchestral music as the contestants rushed to finish in time. I loved the post match, I mean post technical bake comments. It was like a baking version of 'Match of the Day', I was waiting for one of the bakers to saying something like, "well it was a Jaffa cake bake of two halves but I'm sure I'll find the back of the net soon, I mean oven".

The final round was the all important showstopper. This week it was all about them baking a mirror glaze cake. We had the intense drama(not really) of seeing if any of the bakers under or over cooked their genoise cakes. Repeatedly, initial poor efforts were thrown across the tent and dumped in the bin, this was high-octane stuff this!

I enjoyed watching it in all seriousness. I mock them for say crying over making a rubbery sponge, but if the bakers did not care as passionately as they do then this show would not work as well as it does. At the heart of this show is a sense of pride. Pride in our cultural, historical and cooking heritages which has thus shaped us as people and this makes for an interesting watch at times. It would be a pointless watch if the contestants did not really care about the things that they baked.

After all the cooking was done it was decided that garden designer Jane from Kent, was star baker for week one. Contrastingly, after three pretty lame efforts church minister Lee from Bolton was on his way home and the first to be eliminated.

I do wish the producers though would change the sad music bit which accompanies the elimination news. This is because some years ago I watched an exceptionally moving documentary about the Holocaust by Claude Lanzmann called 'Shoah'. It is an outstanding piece of work but throughout it has a similar violin/strings sequence to this closing bit of music that we hear on every episode of 'The Great British Bake Off'. Therefore, I think of this brilliant but at the same time traumatic documentary every time I watch somebody going home from the 'The Great British Bake Off'.....JUST FOR MAKING RUBBISH CAKES argh, i.e poles apart mood and subject matter wise.

By the end I had really enjoyed seeing this programme return. I duly checked myself for any symptoms of BOBOS(BORED OF BAKE OFF SYNDROME) and could not find any to my great relief. Hooray, I have been CURED I think....WELL, FOR THE TIME BEING AT LEAST! 4/5.

GeordieArmani's picture

Bring it on, I love GBBO, but then I love any shows that involve cooking and food and of course the delectable Mr Paul Hollywood. Keep it the same, a change in format would spoil it! Mary Berry is the star of the show though, a real lady.