The Bake Off without Mel and Sue I can just about imagine. In fact, I’d probably prefer it. But without Mary Berry? How’s that going to work?

Oh to be a fly on the wall at Channel 4 Towers where the joke about spending £75million on a tent is edging ever closer to an uncomfortable truth.

Okay, they’ve still got Paul Hollywood but, frankly, so what? You can’t make a cake with only a quarter of the ingredients. Same goes for a hit TV show. You have to stick to the successful recipe.

No Mary… no point. And with millions of fans furious over their favourite programme switching from the BBC it won’t be a case of hooray for Hollywood. After Mel and Sue refused to chase Channel 4’s dough and Mary declared her undying loyalty to the Beeb, Paul risks being seen as a money-grabbing traitor.

So let’s face it we’re currently watching the final proper series of a competition that for seven glorious years has enthralled the nation. They can promise not to run adverts all they like. But the grim prospect of The Great British Bake Off minus Mary, Mel and Sue isn’t great… it’s tragic.

No matter how good the contestants are, it just won’t be the same. Unprecedented in television history, the UK’s number one series has spectacularly imploded. Destroyed at the top of its game. Extraordinary.

The latest slice of TV’s pressure-packed bun fight featured more of Mel and Sue’s painful puns, Paul calling Mrs Berry “Bezza” and nice-but-useless Val finally getting her marching orders. When it came to Pastry Week, the old girl was too weak.

After boasting that she bakes a Bakewell Tart every single week she baked one that wasn’t very well at all. Soggy bottomed and raw, it got the serious thumbs down from the appalled judges.

But all was forgiven when Val bade a tearful farewell and sobbed: “Whenever I bake anything I stir love into it, I knead love into it, so when I serve it, it’s special.” Pass the Kleenex. Not a dry eye in the tent. Exactly the sort of charming scene that thrives on the Beeb and won’t even happen on Channel 4.

Meanwhile, bee sting lipped Candice was star baker thanks to her showstopper filo pastry amuse bouches. And anguished Andrew found out why his pastry wasn’t turning the lovely golden brown he’d hoped for… he’d forgotten to turn the oven on. D’oh!

Innuendos of the week. Candice: “It’s good to get your hands in and give your sausage a good squeeze.” Mel to Candice: “I’ll leave you to bash your butter.” Sue to Candice: “Stop fiddling. Leave your balls alone.” This is the comedy gold we’ll miss.

Weird revelations of the week. Andrew: “My dad always had dates in the glove box of the car when we were kids.” What the hell for? Val using dental floss to cut her breakfast pastries and insisting: “It’s my secret weapon.” Ever tried a knife? Just a thought.

And then as he savoured Mary’s perfect Bakewell, Mr Hollywood growled: “Well done Bezza.” What is she? A football manager? “What was that about your diet?” enquired Mary. Answer: It’s gone down the pan. Like the Bake Off.

But the most poignant moment unfolded when Sue Perky cracked one of her “jokes” about Tom’s cereal flavoured creation. Get ready not to laugh. Here it is: “As we say in the breakfast cereal world… cheerio.” Oh God.

In fairness, even by her one low standards, Sue realised she’d crossed the corny line. So, in an eerily prescient statement that was recorded months ago, she announced: “I’m leaving the tent guys, it’s been really great.” Crumbs! How spooky is that?