Coronation Street: Is Gary Windass really the Pablo Escobar of Weatherfield?

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Coronation Street: Is Gary Windass really the Pablo Escobar of Weatherfield?

April 16, 2016 - 12:31
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Dramatic drugs bust on the mean streets of Weatherfield as Corrie’s courageous coppers seized a tiny bag of weed. Guilty of wasting police time… the police.

Gary Windass is arrested for a £30 bag of weed

Dramatic drugs bust on the mean streets of Weatherfield as Corrie’s courageous coppers seized a tiny bag of weed. Guilty of wasting police time… the police.

In real life, PC Plod probably wouldn’t have even bothered arresting gormless Gary Windass. But the ginger loser’s implausible downfall unfolded in soap fantasy land where any similarities with real life are entirely accidental.

When TV’s carrot-topped fall-guy was caught with cannabis worth a staggering £30 you’d have thought he was carrying a couple of kilos of cocaine and a pound of heroin. The Escobar of the cobblestones.

But of course, Pablo Windass is no ordinary dealer. He’s one of the good guys who only buys grass for his estranged wheelchair-bound wife Izzy as a pain killer. No one knows why.

The problem with this ludicrous storyline is Sharif’s right. Dizzy Izzy really ought to try aspirins. They’re much cheaper, easier to take and, hey, they’re legal.

As for the brainless bimbo rolling into the nick and tearfully explaining that Gary was her big-hearted supplier, would anyone be so stupid? Even her?

“It’s me you should be arresting,” she protested. So they did. Sadly, to her astonishment, they didn’t release Gary. “This ain’t fair!” she wailed. What is she? Six years old?

Anyway, nice work landing them both in a world of trouble. Stand by for the dimwit couple’s battle to keep custody of their little son Jake. Well done, Iz.

Meanwhile, back on the Street, angry Anna was busy whipping up a crisis and as news of the great narcotics scandal spread the entire fabric of society began to disintegrate. Over a miniscule amount of Class C drugs. OMG!

Obviously, smoking dope is against the law and should be discouraged. But in 2016 isn’t this a bit of an outmoded storm in a hash pipe? It’s non-event TV folks… just say no.

While EastEnders has finally raised its game, our friends in the north are suffering from a severe case of nothing-happening syndrome.

Talking of which, Tyrone’s stupid scrap metal business was going so wonderfully well he took Fizz to the Rovers to celebrate Norris giving him an old fridge. Gripping stuff.

And after marrying a gay Argentinian, air-head hairdresser Maria Connor dressed up as a lion in a bizarre bid to persuade Luke not to dump her. Unbelievably (literally), it worked.

Then Luke’s emotional proposal: “I know I’ll have to wait until you get a divorce but, when you can, Maria Connor will you marry me?” Naturally, she said yes. She always does.

There are 5 Comments

mansellmum's picture

Finding Coronation Street really boring lately, can't seem to get into any of the story lines which is a shame because this is normally my favourite soap.

Simond's picture

Has Coronation Street just become the laziest Soap on TV? Continuity gaffs abound- Rana is seen flirting with Zeedan in the Bistro kitchens, wearing a green top, yet appears front of house in the restaurant a few minutes later in a stripey one. Unsettling stuff. Then Liz mysteriously disappears overnight to Spain, failing to tell Steve and Michelle about her intentions only the night before. The next we know she is at the end of the phone in Andy's bar. What is it about Andy that he has become the go-to refuge for all those in the Street who need a quick story-line exit? And what time was the plane that Liz managed to catch? And Roy's sudden Volte-face about Cathy's living arrangements- one minute she's out on her uppers, the next it's paella all round. And don't get me started on the inconsistencies that run through Kate Connor's relationship with Sophie. Most of the main characters are lacking any singularly strong story-lines and the show seems to be lurching from one inconsequential incident to another. Poor script writing. Something you thought you'd never write about Coronation Street.

Anna May's picture

Ah, Simon, I am on the verge of coming back to Corrie, but just reading this brings back all the bad memories. You’re so right about main characters not getting good storylines. We have some great soap actors…but, when they’re afforded a great script to shine through one minute, then given really needless and out of character things to say and do the next, they revert to just another actor filling in time. That’s not fair on them or us. What’s the point in building up credibility for a character just to knock it down again? It would be better to let us assume they were simply busy at home, or unwell, than keep them occupied onscreen with silly subplots that totally negate what’s gone before. Mind you, that would be too much like real life. At least Liz has done the decent thing and gone to Spain. Let’s hope she doesn’t return with a load of nicked bidets.

Llwynog45's picture

It's a shame to see the steady decline of what was a character led drama. I've hardly missed an episode over the last 45 years or so, but I now find myself deleting un watched episodes from my planner. It lost any sense of reality years ago, and has never really made the jump into the 21st century. Such a shame, but perhaps I'll stick with it. Just.

mansellmum's picture

Not enjoying Coronation Street at all right now, poor storylines, this Sarah-Lou business with the body under the extension is driving me mad, it is so boring, let's get it over with now, we know he is going to be found and I'm supposing that Jason's (now beloved) Dad Tony will probably get the blame. Nick and his boring wedding (yawn), lesbian triangle (bigger yawn), Phelan, yes the usual villain Scouser who will be heading for a downfall, come on Corrie up your game, this is why Enders is getting all the awards!