Coronation Street. Come in Aidan and Maria, your time is almost up

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Coronation Street. Come in Aidan and Maria, your time is almost up

July 01, 2017 - 12:25
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For once in her impetuous life, Eva the pound store diva is biding her time. Revenge, she has decided, is a dish best served cold.

Eva, Aidan and Maria in Coronation Street

For once in her impetuous life, Eva the pound store diva is biding her time. Revenge, she has decided, is a dish best served cold.

Trapped in Coronation Street’s perpetual circle of recycled love, the much-travelled Ms Price has been round the terraced houses so often she must be getting dizzy. If you’re male, the Price is invariably right.

What does Eva look for in a man? Basically, a pulse. Nick Tilsley, Rob Donovan, Jason Grimshaw… the list goes on. Apart from senior citizens Ken and Norris, she’s pretty much slept with every bloke in Weatherfield. Naturally, her many affairs always end in tears.

The latest guy to enter Eva’s busy orbit is morally challenged factory boss Aidan Connor who was merrily two-timing her with the similarly well-travelled Maria (Tyrone Dobbs, Jason and Todd Grimshaw, Vikram Desai, Nick Tilsley, Liam Connor, Chris Gray, Tony Gordon etc.) until, unbeknownst to them, their tawdry texts were dramatically rumbled.

With all her hopes and marital dreams shattered, Eva might have been expected to plough through the soap motions. Slapping Aidan, cat-fighting Maria, making an embarrassing speech in the pub, weeping, wailing and generally unravelling in a dazzling display of world-beating emotional incontinence. Fun but a tad predictable.

But intriguingly, she has embarked on a deliciously different journey and, with uncharacteristic restraint, has yet to tell either Aidan or Maria that she’s on to them. To get her own back, TV’s top wronged woman is playing a calculated game. Instead of the usual explosive theatrics, the scheming blonde is quietly plotting to ruin the Romeo rat who broke her heart. Excellent.

“I want to hurt him,” she fumed. “I mean really hurt him. I’ve told him that the test was positive.” As in the pregnancy test that was actually negative. She also told him she’s seen a few engagement rings that she really likes but “they’re not cheap”.

Insisting that money was no object, Aidan replied: “I can’t wait to get married. I can’t wait to be a dad.” Good luck with that. And so much for his undying love for Maria.

She may well be a perennial loser in love but seething Eva is determined to emerge from this romantic battleground as a financial winner. We wish her well.

“By the time I’ve finished with him, I’ll be quids in,” she assured her sister Leanne (Nick Tilsley, Peter Barlow, Nick Tilsley again, Steve McDonald). “Why should I walk away with nothing? I’m going to rinse him for everything he’s got. And I’ll tell you something else, I’m going to enjoy every pigging minute of it.” Ditto, the viewers. Bring it on.

In other news… Phelan thinks he’s Nicola’s real dad. Who cares? Mary’s son Jude isn’t returning from South Africa after all. Who cares? And after leaving Chesney for Daniel, Sinead looks to be on her way back to Chesney. Who cares? Gymslip mum Faye is secretly still seeing juvenile delinquent Seb. Who cares? Robot Robert isn’t keen on letting his drug dealer mate buying shares in The Bistro. And the puerile Platts are finding out that 16 year-old Bethany is past the age of consent. Who cares?

But Eva’s simmering fury is already delivering must-see TV. And things can only get better. Or, in Aidan and Maria’s case, worse. As the Beeb’s ludicrously boring EastEnders sinks into a black hole of nothingness, Corrie is on to a winner.  

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TVangie's picture

Can someone tell me why Robert in Cori has been morphed into the Wetherfield Howard Marks? Please also can the writers stop shoe-horning in patronising and totally ridiculous gay storylines, we are not all ignorant homophobic ludites who routinely need to be told ye gay fable...ending with 'and the moral of the story is' - middle class writers patronising working class audiences with the benefit of their educational privalege, Im tired of it!!! STOP IT ITV. Also, it used to be funny, really funny, what happened ITV? Please stop moralising and get back to what you do best