By Andy Simon @andysimon55

I have a little confession to make.

I have not watched this year's Apprentice since week one, so I have no knowledge of the hell those rather unfortunate losers who now remain at the mercy of Lord Bully had to go through, to reach what I consider to be the most entertaining episode of the show.

The Interviews.

Now maybe it's because I remember the horrific interviews I had many years ago, or maybe it's because I'm a bit of a sadist or maybe, it's perhaps; a little bit of both?

But whatever the reasons behind my ghoulish desire to bookmark this particular week of a very gruelling process in my TV Diary, without doubt the interviews week is by far the best of the lot for one reason and one reason alone.

Claude Littner.

This man is without doubt, truly terrifying and by a mile, the only reason why I bookmarked this particular episode of this now; very much, out of date show.

Yes. Killer Claude is back, where he belongs.

And judging by the dreadful maulings he ruthlessly inflicted on his rabbit in a headlight victims, he was evidently very happy to be back in his very familiar, finely tuned, well rehearsed and legendary lethal comfort zone.

He certainly didn't waste any time getting down to business.

And given the fact Claude has been trailing around with these so called budding entrepreneurs, taking notes, making observations and listening intently as they failed, fumbled or fluked their way to week eleven will now be of considerable benefit to Claude thus making him more lethal than ever at the interviews.

You just knew; this was going to be good telly.
And it was.

Claude's first victim (Alana) got eaten alive, but he didn't eat her cakes. Courtney got verbally smacked across the face to a point where Claude was visibly encouraging him to show some charisma. Grainne just got completely destroyed, Frances got brutally floored and poor old Jessica was totally crushed.

The other heavyweights of Lord Bully's, "Business & Character Assassination Squad", Claudine Collins, Mike Soutar and new addition Linda Plant picked off what was left of these poor unfortunate souls after Claude's humiliating mauling.

It was enjoyable telly.

In the end of course; the candidates survived
the verbal beating up, just.

Then; after Lord Bully had listened carefully to the assessment reports of the remaining candidates from his own business version of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, it was simply down to choosing which two losers to go for.

And after the usual deliberations, huffing and puffing and the odd glance up at his ceiling, Lord Bully fired Grainne, Jessica and Frances, leaving Charismatically dead Courtney and half baked Alana and her cakes that only Linda Plant ate, to consider chucking a quarter of a million quid at.

I'm not sure what Lord Sugar wants from these two.

Personally; I don't think there is a market for baby bottles that look like dildo's, or that his Lordship has much chance in rivaling Mary Berry's British Bake Off, with Alana's cake business.

Rather him than me.

But now it's up to Courtney and Alana to sell themselves to Lord Bully one more time in the final episode.

Rather them than me.

The Interviews on week eleven of The Apprentice has always been a particular favourite of mine, so much so that I will stick my neck out and say that this one episode alone, probably gets considerably more viewing figures than any of the others.

I suppose there is something ghoulish about watching poor unfortunates squirm, shrivel and break under the enormous pressure, ruthlessly inflicted upon them by a bunch of people who by their own actions, are clearly sadistic themselves.

It's either that or like me, you too remember all those ghastly job interviews you had when you were also as green as grass, and that watching someone you have never met go through that hell reminds you of them, and this in itself, is rather entertaining.

It also shows that you weren't the only one who suffered at the hands of a brutal interviewer, and In a macabre sort of way, this realisation brings you some warm satisfying comfort?

Whatever the reason, I enjoyed this episode however, I probably won't be watching week twelve, simply because the show for me at least is boring, out of date and in my opinion, no longer has the pull that it once had.

But this does not stop me from wishing the two remaining candidates the very best of luck. For whoever pairs up with Lord Sugar in business, will need all the luck they can get.

The final episode of The Apprentice airs on BBC1, Sunday December 18th. It will be a two hour special, so you will probably need a few endurance pills on hand.

Thanks for reading

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